A woman discovered her grandmother had been praying to a figure of Elrond from Lord of the Rings. She noted “that the prayers were equally as effective.”
One of the largest Christmas Carol services in Sri Lanka has accidentally printed the lyrics to late rapper Tupac Shakur’s vitriolic banger, Hail Mary, instead of the traditional Catholic prayer.
The extremely wrong – but oh so right – Hail Mary lyrics go like this:
“Now pay attention: bless me please, Father, I’m a ghost.
“In these killing fields, Hail Mary, catch me if I go
“Let’s go deep inside the solitary mind of a madman.
“Screams in the dark, evil lurks, enemies see me flee.
“Activate my hate, let it break to the flame.
“Set trip, empty out my clip, never stop to aim.
“Some say the game is all corrupt and f*cked in this sh*t
“Stuck, n*ggas is lucky if we bust out this sh*t.
“Plus, Mama told me never stop until I bust a nut.
“F*ck the world if they can’t adjust, it’s just as well, Hail Mary.”
Joe Schimmel, the pastor of Blessed Hope Chapel in Simi Valley, California, told Christian News Network that the “pretentious caricature” of God as a “fat black woman” (his words, not mine) is “dangerous and false.”
Everyone knows the bible and heaven is filed with only white people…
Image via The Shack.
Funny and irreverent. But also poignantly illustrates how believers picl and choose from their holy books.
A religious nutter living a life of hypocrisy and interfering with children’s mental welfare? Nothing surprising there.
What I cannot under stand is why in hell was this religious insanity funded by the secular federal government?!!! WTF?!!!